Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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