that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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