I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
they're like a gay fantastic four
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
