whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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