you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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