fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
