he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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