she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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