woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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