omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
