Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
