I just saw a hot homeless man
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
