Are we in a gay sports bar?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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