Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
