I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just want nice things and good sex
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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