how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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