i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
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Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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