Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
