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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
