he wants to bone in the snuggie
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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