You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
