when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
These tits shall not be calmed
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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