And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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