yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
