capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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