Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
