why didn't you poke me back
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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