i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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