toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
