Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
