I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
