oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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