You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
