it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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