ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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