It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
