i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Randomize
