dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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