dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
