I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
