ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
