My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
