Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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