Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
