When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
