i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
