a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
