alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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