Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You ruined the universe
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
