mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
