wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
50% drunk capacity currently
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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