I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
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There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
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He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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