i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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