you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.