Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Ladies don't puke and tell
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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