i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night