I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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