Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
