I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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