I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
