"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Randomize
