FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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