you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
