I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize