Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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