Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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