Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
