Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
