She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Randomize
