dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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