covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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